


Please, Be My Purpose

by aitcohe



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angel Wings, Blood and Injury, College, Confusion, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sexual Confusion, suga is trying his best
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:27:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26455645
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aitcohe/pseuds/aitcohe
Summary: Never in their lives did they know what they were meant for, their dreams and aspirations robbed by tragedy. Shouyou and Tobio are now reunited, but only by twisted means, which they'll have to figure out together.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 14





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This work is based on a plot me & a good friend made together! a few background bits: the canon plot ends after the middle school match, so Kags & Hina only know each other from that instance, and my story picks up many years later while Tobio is in University. He never went into volleyball during HS (which I'll explain later in my work) and Hinata never went into volleyball in HS because... well, you'll see soon. I hope you enjoy! please leave feedback or ideas for the direction you'd like to see this go in!

Kageyama Tobio isn't a name well known in the world. He was just another little ant in the colony, going about his brief life. The only difference between him and an ant, though, is that ants are born with a purpose, and he could pave his own path. Most would say that was amazing, that isn't it great we can do what we want in our lives? Well, yes, but for someone who doesn't know what they want out of life, it wasn't quite as great as everyone else thought.

It wasn't so bad, though, not everyone needs to have it nailed down so early in life. Tobio was now twenty-two, living on his own in a small apartment, going to school online while he figured everything out. Because of scholarships and grants, his college was for the most part paid for, and whatever amount was leftover his family helped him with paying. Since Kageyama didn't work, he used savings to pay his rent and living expenses. When he was very young, he was involved in a horrible car accident, and so he was awarded a lot of insurance money as a settlement, which was why he didn't need to work yet while he went to school. It was going to run out eventually, though, so he'd need to get to work over the next break.

It was late in the evening now, about 11 p.m., he'd just finished checking out a few grocery items from a convenience store near his apartment complex. He walked just about everywhere he went since everything in the city was pretty close and compact, which made things easier for someone like Tobio who couldn't stand even the thought of driving a car. He was on his way home now, groceries in tote on his arm. It was winter now, so he was on a short two-week break from classes. Perfect timing, really, since he was starting to go crazy from the workload. It would be a new semester when they all went back, so it would be a little bit easier to handle since the start of the semester was pretty much always lightwork. It was a welcome change because as previously mentioned, the pressure had started to get to him. But enough of that now, no sense in worrying about a nonexistent problem.

It wasn't until he got close to the building that he noticed someone sitting on the wall near the door. Cautiously stepping close, trying not to draw attention to himself, he took notice of the strange appearance of the person sitting near the door. At first glance, he wasn't sure if they were male or female, but the strange garment they wore revealed a flat chest. It was winter! How could anyone wear something that barely covered them? Was this person homeless? It looked more like a costume than that, though, since there were lots of gold accents along the flowy white garment. Kageyama could only really compare the clothes to maybe a cupid or cherub, but nonetheless, why was anyone wearing something like that in this cold?

Kageyama tried to avoid being noticed, approaching the door, and starting to key in the code to enter the building. As soon as he touched the first number is beeped at a noticeable volume, causing the small, firey-haired male sitting on the ground to look up from his knees. His face was covered up before since his head was buried in his knees, but now Kageyama could see how distressingly perfect this guy's appearance was. Tobio couldn't help the blush that spread across his cheeks when their eyes met, frozen where he stood and hardly able to remember just to breathe. The squatter looked back at Kageyama with somewhat of a puzzled expression, as if his eyes were still adjusting. For just a moment the redhead examined Kageyama, then his face lit up with a gasp, almost like a child being met with a puppy. He sprung up from the ground and cheered, jumping around like he'd won the lottery! Kageyama was slow to react, stepping back a little and furrowing his brows. What was up with this guy?

"Tobio! You're finally here!" The redhead cheered, continuing to do his excited little hop. His voice was light and touching, innocent, and familiar. Cute. But wait, how did he know Kageyama's name?

"Uh... Sorry, do we know each other?" Kageyama's voice broke as he spoke, overwhelmed by shock and confusion. The other seemed to pout for just a moment, but his joyous expression returned within an instant.

"Not really, no... But I know you, you're Kageyama Tobio, twenty years old, university student! My name is Shouyou!" The self-proclaimed Shouyou reached out and took one of Kageyama's hands, still grinning. "Wow.. you can see me... I wonder if I'm a human now." Kageyama nearly jumped out of his boots at the feeling of Shouyou's icy cold hands, looking down to see that he wasn't even wearing shoes. It was freezing outside, and this guy is barely wearing a bedsheet? Stalker or not, Tobio decided he couldn't leave him out here like this, it was only going to get colder. He didn't want this person to die!

"How do you know all that.." He started to say, pulling his hand away from Shouyou's grasp, keying in the building code and guiding him into the lobby area. ".. And why do you know all that?" Shouyou shuddered when they entered the heated building, feeling starting to return to his body as he thawed out. Kageyama wasn't in a hurry to make him start talking, since the sudden change in temperature probably had his body in shock right now. Kageyama had spoken in somewhat of a harsh tone before, but now that he was looking at Shouyou in the clear light, he saw that he was just a small, frail boy, maybe a little younger than he was. His body was riddled in dark bruises, most noticeable along his knees and forearms. There were a few cuts and scrapes, and when Shouyou leaned back against the wall of the room Tobio noticed what looked like a lot of blood on the back of his sleeveless knee-length tunic.

Shouyou took a few slow, shallow breaths before opening his mouth to speak, but before he could utter a word, the fluffy-haired male lost a gleam in his eyes, his legs shaking a bit as he sunk to the ground.

There was a grunt from Kageyama as he quickly hooked his hands into Shouyou’s underarms to support him, a sputtering babble coming from his mouth as his mind tried to catch up with his actions, bringing Shouyou close and supporting him with his body. He peeked over Shouyou’s shoulder and found the source of the blood, two large gashes that had mostly clotted, so the bleeding had stopped, however, the massive amount of loss must’ve finally caught up to Shouyou as he’d stood and walked about.

After taking a deep breath and collecting himself, Tobio did the sensible thing and called an ambulance, explaining there was a person who may have been stabbed and was now unconscious.

The ruckus caused two of the other apartment tenants to come out of their home, Keiji, and Koutarou, who often checked up on Tobio from time to time to make sure he was eating well and had everything he needed as he lived alone. They were caring people, and good friends of Kageyama. When they saw Tobio on the ground with such a horrified expression and holding onto the stranger, Keiji leapt into action and took off his hoodie, using it to press the open wound and stop any more blood.

“Did you call an ambulance?” He asked, to which Kageyama responded with a frantic nod, watching as Koutarou checked to see if the person was still breathing, and if he could get Shouyou to wake up. His pats to the face and light shakes earned merely a few blinks and groans from Shouyou, who seemed to be unaware of what was going on.

It wasn’t long before paramedics arrived, and they loaded Shouyou onto the stretcher belly first so they could treat the wound. One of the medics asked who was going to accompany him in the ambulance, and the three of them looked at each other for a moment before Kageyama wordlessly climbed into the back of the ambulance, seated in a bench across from the two medics and Shouyou, whose color had faded from his face.

Who was this person? How had this happened to him? Why did he know Kageyama’s name?

All of it was very, very confusing, but somehow, Tobio felt that he and this Shouyou knew each other very well.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dearly hope you're enjoying this work so far :) the next chapter will be a prologue to how Shouyou ended up on earth... be prepared!

Twelve A.M. was when the ambulance came that night. Two P.M. the next day was when Shouyou was discharged from the hospital. Three P.M. and Hinata was laying in Kageyama’s bed, fast asleep.

How did all this happen? Well, it’s kind of a long story, we’ll try to keep it short and sweet.

Once they arrived at the Hospital, Kageyama followed medics into the building, where they instructed him to wait in the lobby area while Shouyou was treated.

It caused a bit of anxiety not knowing what had happened to Shouyou, or what they were doing to him. When a hospital staff member brought out paperwork for Shouyou, most of the stuff Kageyama didn’t know. He didn’t even know what his family name was.

He recalled a fluffy, red-headed kid way back in middle school whose Jersey read ‘Hinata’. Hinata Shouyou, though Tobio suspected there was no possibility that was his actual name, that’s what he would be called. Insurance? Probably not. Emergency contact? Who knows. Place of residence? Umm… Tobio just put his own address. What else could he put?

Shortly after, he fell asleep, and when he woke up with a terrible pain in his neck at 6 A.M. the next day, Shouyou was out of surgery and in a recovery room. Because he wasn’t in critical condition, Kageyama was allowed to visit Shouyou, and eventually, he woke up, though heavily medicated.

Hinata went on and on about how he was kicked out of heaven because god found out he had a crush on a human, and how it took him forever to walk all the way to Tobio’s apartment. Kageyama humored him, listening closely to all that Shouyou had to say, wondering if any of it could even be true. It seemed so out of this world, so impossible, how could he even consider it to be fact? There was just no way.

After a few hours of talking and resting with Hinata, the doctor and a few nurses, or maybe interns, came into the room for a discussion. They explained that they noticed in surgery that Hinata’s wounds were not caused by a stab or even a bullet, but that his skin was torn open. They explained how strange and unusual it seemed, and that they found leftover cartilage along Hinata’s shoulders, almost as if there had been significant joints there. They said they couldn’t explain it, and neither could Hinata or Kageyama. When Tobio examined Shouyou’s face, he saw a mix of fear and deception. They were both in silent understanding that they wouldn’t be telling the doctor the truth. Or, at least, what seemed to be the truth.

Akaashi and Bokuto came by the hospital to give them a ride home after Shouyou was discharged, and to Kageyama’s relief, there weren’t any questions. Tobio suspected that Keiji was the one to set those boundaries, otherwise, Bokuto would probably be all over Shouyou with questions. Where did you come from? How did you get hurt? How do you know Tobio? Kageyama was thankful no one brought that up, and they were able to leave it at introductions and light conversation.

When they arrived back at the apartment complex, It seemed like everyone was flocking to Hinata’s aid, making sure he safely got out of the car, into the building, and up the stairs. While Bokuto helped Hinata get into bed, Akaashi and Kageyama stood at the door, watching the energetic two and staying out of the way.

“Are you sure you don’t want him to stay with us? I mean, it wouldn’t be that much of a burden.” Keiji said in that soft, cool voice of his, leaning against the entrance of Kageyama’s apartment. Tobio sighed, speaking quietly in turn.

“No, I think he’d rather stay with me… he keeps saying he knows me and that he traveled to see me, so I might try to ask him a bit more on that…” Tobio paused, biting his lip for a moment. His expression was that of concern as he looked out at Hinata, thankful that his injuries were bandaged and covered by a hospital gown. Akaashi seemed to study Kageyama’s face for a moment, thinking.

“Well, I’m sure it’ll be better for him to rest here since it’s quiet.” Akaashi gave a nod, watching Bokuto walk towards them. “All good?” He asked, to which Koutarou responded with an enthusiastic nod. “Okay…” Keiji started, collecting himself and turning back to Tobio. “... You let us know if you need anything, alright?” Kageyama gave a quiet ‘yes’ and a small bow out of respect, guiding the two out the door. He sighed once they were gone, looking back to see Hinata looking out the window with tired eyes, holding onto one of the extra pillows like a stuffed animal.

Okay… so what now?

Tobio cleared his throat, walking over to Shouyou, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So… can you feel where they stitched you up?” Kageyama asked, watching Shouyou’s eyes glance up at him. The smaller male gave a hum, closing his eyes as he spoke.

“Not really… all that medicine… It just feels like my back is kinda sore. If I move it aches… but it doesn’t hurt.” The weakness in Shouyou’s voice was almost heartbreaking to listen to, studying his face as it seemed like he was slowly falling asleep again.

“Are you really an angel?” Kageyama asked in almost a whisper, watching a bit of drool drip from Shouyou’s lips. After a moment of silence, there was a tiny ‘mhm’, and Hinata was finally asleep. There was a moment where his heart raced, thinking Shouyou was much too adorable for his own good.

After that, it was a few hours before Shouyou woke up again. Since Kageyama hadn’t slept well the night before, by now he was exhausted, but he was too nervous for Shouyou’s sake to allow himself to get any rest. It was nine at night when Shouyou opened his eyes, looking over and seeing Kageyama wearing headphones, watching some tv show on his laptop. Hinata smiles, watching him in silence for a few moments.

Then he recalled the events leading up to his banishment, and how he ended up in this situation. Sugawara told him he’d be cast out of heaven if he didn’t let go of that silly crush...


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy it's starting to get interesting!!! I'm really excited about these next few chapters. pls enjoy <3

“Sho…”

A familiar voice.

Hinata opened his eyes, blinking a few times at the figure above him.

“Koushi…” Hinata sighed, sitting up from the little patch of cloud he’d been sleeping on. He rubbed his eyes, looking around at the open sky. Heaven.

“How come you’re sleeping?” Sugawara asked, taking a seat next to Hinata. “Shouldn’t you be preparing?”

Shouyou groaned, letting his head fall forward and holding himself up on his hands as he leaned back. He seemed to have a bothered expression on his face.

“How am I supposed to prepare for something like this?” Shouyou finally responded after a moment of calm silence, blankly staring out at the slow moving clouds. Suga seemed to pause in thought, making sure he chose his words carefully.

“Well… it’s not every day you get to relive your memories. Something so special should be celebrated. Why not spend the day with your friends?” Suga offered a warm smile down towards Shouyou, a giant wing reaching out and tugging Shouyou close. “Aren’t you excited to be shown your memories?” The older of the two asked, allowing Hinata to shift positions so he was sitting between Suga’s legs, leaning back against his chest. Koushi started to comb his fingers through Hinata’s hair, braiding a few pieces for fun. After another moment of silence between the two, Hinata spoke up again.

“What if… my memories of being alive… aren’t what I was hoping for?” The redhead started to say, closing his eyes at the comforting feeling of Suga’s fingers dancing through his bright locks. “I mean… I’ve been dead nearly ten years now, and all this time The Lord hasn’t given me my memories. Meanwhile, you’ve only been dead two years, and you got your memories back months ago.” Shouyou sighed out of frustration. He was one of the only ones to wait such a long time for their memories to be returned to them.

“Well, you get them back when The Lord thinks you’re prepared... I mean, sometimes they can be a difficult thing to receive. You were only fourteen when you died, so it took you longer to mature.” Shouyou rolled his eyes at Suga’s response. There were people much younger that received their memories much earlier. Was there something so awful about his life that he couldn’t be trusted to know about it until now? Was he a bad person? Did he deserve to die? He sighed again, knowing nothing Suga could say would ease his anxiety.

“I guess so, yeah…” Hinata settled on replying with, smiling at a light breeze that came through. The air was much warmer above the clouds, and it was constantly a comfortable temperature. He let out a slow breath, leaning his head back to look up at Suga.

“Are you feeling any better?” Koushi asked, ruffling his bright, fluffy hair to tease the braids out. Shouyou nodded.

“A bit, yeah. Still nervous, but… who isn’t, huh?” Hinata stood up and stretched out his arms, then his wings. In total they were ten feet across, nearly twice his height. Suga smiled, reaching out and scratching playfully at the fluffy down at the base of his wings. Hinata smiled in return, tucking his wings back taught against his back, turning around to face his elder. “My summons must be soon. I should get going.” He offered a small wave to Suga, then lifted off into the sky, soaring off towards the direction of The Lord’s temple.

Suga leaned back into the gentle clouds, watching as Shouyou slowly faded out of sight. Worry spread across his face. Was Hinata prepared for what was about to happen? 

Either way, Hinata was on his way now to the temple of The Lord, where angels went if they needed to speak to God. Because God was not a person or confined into a physical form, the massive building made of large, open columns similar to ancient greek architecture merely served as a designated place to speak and hold presence with The Lord.

Shouyou couldn’t help the erratic pounding of his heart, overcome with excitement and anxiety. It was a fairly big deal when an angel was to be shown their memories. Some described it almost as if their life had been returned to them, giving a feeling of wholeness or enlightenment. There were, however, the rare instances where being shown one’s memories was detrimental to an angel. Some couldn’t handle the burden, and it would drive them into madness. That was something Shouyou worried about. Could he be one of those rare cases?

His conversation with The Lord was not one of much substance. It was very to-the-point, beginning with a greeting, and ending with Shouyou’s memories being relayed back into his mind.

Watching his life pass by in an instant was enough to rob him of his breath. He saw his parents, his welcoming teacher from his very first day of school, the day his baby sister was brought home. Shouyou could recall seeing a volleyball match on tv from his bike outside of a shop, and the impact it had on him. How inspired he had felt. In the years passing, he would pursue the sport with his whole being, making its way into every aspect of his life. Oh, how he struggled those first years, no one to mentor him and no way to advance in the sport.

Shouyou could recall his first and final official match. The memories of how hard he tried, and how devastated he had felt after losing. More than the match itself, he remembered The King. Kageyama Tobio. A vivid image of himself stood at the top of the steps outside of the gym where the match was held painted itself in his mind. The burning prick of tears rolling down his cheeks that he tried harder than anything to stifle. The promise that they’d made to take on each other once again the coming year.

A promise that was never fulfilled.

Now, he was watching his final moments in life. His parents were trying to console Shouyou after his loss, driving him out to eat dinner at a nice restaurant to try and cheer him up. It was then that they would never arrive at their destination.

There was a traffic pileup after a tractor-trailer lost control and spun out on the busy highway, starting to roll onto its side and skid across the road. In its wake, it took out multiple cars, one of which would be the Hinata family car. He could remember their vehicle rolling countless times, the cries of his family, and a final flash before there was another impact between their car and another. The final breaths of the Hinata family.

From another perspective was Kageyama Tobio, in the car opposite to the Hinata’s, listening as his mother frantically dialed for help, and debilitating pain spread across his body.

He would never be able to play volleyball after that.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I totally cried while writing this chapter, also, sorry it took so long to write! School started, so, yeah... Anyways, please enjoy!

After being dismissed from The Lord’s temple, Hinata went off to a place where he could be alone for a while. He returned to the same patch of sky where he was before, where he and Suga discussed the events soon to come. Soon to come had since come, and Shouyou was now left alone to think. At the very least, he’d been given a break from his tasks, just as all angels receive when given their memories. He wasn’t sure what to think, really.

A rise of anger filled his body, upset that he died before he could reach any of his goals. Before he could go to the same high school as The Little Giant, before he could go to national competitions, before he could become the ace of Karasuno, before…

Kageyama. He never got to take him on again. Shouyou sighed, his anger settling to sadness and longing. He tried to tell himself that every angel went through this, that he wasn’t special, but it didn’t help to ease the heartbreak. It hurt just as bad. His thoughts consumed him, and feasted ferociously, feeling his insides being torn and devoured by his own mind.

Shouyou felt his face heat up as tears began to well up in his eyes. He tried to stop them from falling, but there was really no use. He sighed, falling back into the fluffy clouds and looking up into the atmosphere. Angels were supposed to be happy. They’d been given the opportunity at a new life in the presence of The Lord, with no hunger, no thirst, all of their needs fulfilled. Was he bad for not feeling content? Was he ungrateful for wanting more? Was what he was feeling irregular, or were there others like this? Shouyou sighed again, turning on his side and closing his eyes. He decided to sleep, not wanting to have to be awake to think anymore.

It was a while later that he woke up, and pulled himself together enough to face other people. Hinata fluttered over to a common area where angels of this area gathered while they weren’t resting or performing other duties. He saw Suga, who was conversing with some of the other angels. He couldn’t help but wiggle his way in to embrace him, crawling into his lap and holding onto Suga by the neck. Suga laughed, bringing his hands to Hinata’s back.

“Shouyou! You’re back!” He gave Hinata a welcoming squeeze, but pretty quickly he felt something was off. “Was it bad?” Koushi asked in a quiet voice, the other angels coming in closer to support their friend. Everyone needed someone in a time like this.

“There was so much I wanted to do...” Hinata replied in a raspy voice, clear that he had been crying. “Why did I have to die?” It was all so familiar. Everyone sitting in their circle had felt those same feelings, thought those same thoughts, spoke those same words. And even though there was a unity and correspondence in their experiences, it never took away from any one person’s pain and hurt. All they could do was be there for him and help him through the best ways they knew how. But really, you had to be there to help yourself. Only, could Shouyou handle that?

After a while of comforting Shouyou, everyone retreated back to their dwellings. No one had possessions or worldly belongings, so every building was open in a temple-like style. Little gazebos in the sky for them to rest and to be undisturbed. Shouyou spent many days alone in his gazebo with sheer white veils closing off the open space. The sheets would flutter in the breeze and sometimes were the only distractions from his thoughts.

He missed his family. He missed the thrill of being on the court. He missed those delicious treats from the corner store near his home, which his mom would always scold him for buying because he would ruin his appetite for her cooking. But something he couldn’t shake the thought away from was an unforgettable character. The King of The Court, Kageyama.

Just like with his family, Shouyou wondered where he was now, what he looked like, what his life had become. He couldn’t shake this feeling that they were connected somehow, and that they would’ve had a part in each other’s lives if Hinata hadn’t died. He thought about him constantly, though he didn’t know why.

“Shou?” A gentle voice called out. Hinata immediately recognized the soft tone of his dear friend, Suga. He opened his eyes and saw that the other had pulled back the veil, allowing unfiltered light to flood the space. It was his first visitor since he’d retreated to his dwelling. Hinata smiled at his friend, sitting up to greet him.

“You came to see me.” Hinata stretched and made room for Suga to sit across from him, noticing the expression of his friend’s face. He wore the same gentle smile as usual, but Shouyou could clearly see the hint of concern interwoven with his warmness.

“Of course I came to see you, why wouldn’t I?” Hinata shrugged as Suga reached out to ruffle his messy orange hair, noticing the tiredness Shouyou wore on his face. He didn’t mention it, of course. “Are you… feeling any better?” He asked cautiously, closely examining Hinata’s expression to try and analyze his reaction.

Shouyou’s eyes seemed to wander, not paying much mind to the question.

“Suga, how did you die?” He asked suddenly, as if ignoring Koushi’s question altogether. It wasn’t like it was taboo to ask someone that or anything, but most people just didn’t discuss it because it could be painful for others. It was a pretty grey area for most. Shouyou looked out at the sky, a soft breeze the only thing breaking their silence, until Suga spoke up again.

“Well…” Sugawara began to say, looking out at the same sky as he recalled his memories of death. “... I was really sick, my muscles were slowly dying. I honestly can’t even remember what the condition I had was called, but..” He paused, thinking about his life. It wasn’t as if he’d forgotten, but he decided to choose his words carefully. “... I remember being at home when it happened. I’d been in and out of the hospital for those last few months… I had to quit my job as an elementary school teacher, my students came to visit me sometimes. They’d bring me treats, gifts, drawings… the parents seemed like they’d offer me anything to help. I guess I was liked by them. But, everyone knew how it was going to end.” Hinata had his attention now, his gaze shifting from the lazy sky to Koushi’s face, studying him carefully as he spoke. “I was surrounded by so much love, and even though I was angry and heartbroken that I’d be gone from their lives, I knew I couldn’t spend the last of my days full of ugly emotions. I did my best to return every bit of love I received each day.”

There was a break in Suga’s voice, Shouyou could see his cheeks growing red and his eyes begin to well up with tears, but they didn’t overflow. Suga took a deep breath, collecting himself, as if he didn’t want to cry in front of Shouyou. But Shouyou didn’t mind, he didn’t view Suga as some perfect all-knowing being, they were all once human. It eased him to see Suga had felt the same way as he was now.

“On my last day…” Suga began again, speaking slow and collectively, still looking out at the sky, “... I felt awful. My body and my insides felt like they were already dead… I was skinny, and stiff, and the weather really sucked, too. It was like, the worst day to die.” Shouyou felt his stomach churn from the description. He could hardly imagine cheerful Suga in such a state. “But even though I was the way that I was, everything shutting down and thunder right outside our windows, Sawamura held on to me, looked at me and talked to me like everything was normal. I couldn’t even speak to respond to him, but he knew what I was thinking just by looking into my eyes.” Suga was crying again, for real this time. Who was Sawamura?

“He kissed me, and he smiled at me, and even though I was dying right there in his arms, he made me feel like everything was okay.” Suga’s head fell, biting his quivering lip to stifle the sobs that choked in his throat. Hinata was crying now, too, silent tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched his dear friend break down right there in front of him. But somehow, Suga still smiled, his cheeks stained with tears and eyes red from crying, he wore a smile.

“I died happy, Shou. And I’ll always be sad that my happiness was cut short, but I’m grateful I could experience it nonetheless.” Suga looked at Hinata for the first time since beginning the story, reaching out and using his thumbs to wipe away Shouyou’s tears. In the short two years they’d known each other, Suga had become something of a mentor for Hinata. He died young, so Shouyou wasn’t really able to mature and develop in adolescence and adulthood. He was that same eager middle schooler, growing slowly through the years, stripped of any opportunity that a normal life had to offer. And Suga knew how to handle a character like Shouyou. That’s why they stuck together, they needed each other in a sense.

There was a look of sorrow clear in Shouyou’s face, and Suga frowned, cupping his cheeks in his hands. “Tell me what’s wrong, Shou.”

Hinata’s body trembled, his cries only becoming worse. Suga came closer, pulling Shouyou’s messy hair away from his face. He shook his head, barely making out any words. “It’s selfish. I can’t say something so ugly.” Hinata whispered, and Suga could guess what he was thinking. Hinata was probably feeling guilty of his jealousy. It was likely that his death was much more sudden and untimely, maybe he was upset that he wasn’t able to leave behind a life like Suga’s. Perhaps there was something, or someone, Shouyou left behind. Something unresolved, the list goes on. Either way, though, Suga knew the gist of the emotions Shouyou felt.

“It’s okay, Shou. You’re going to be alright, I promise.” Suga placed an affectionate kiss on Hinata's exposed forehead, and together they embraced as Hinata cried, overwhelmed by his juvenile feelings of grief and frustration. He didn’t know how else to cope. At the very least Suga was there to wipe away his tears.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's getting interesting, I swear :)

Light snores and messy orange hair had become something Tobio didn’t mind waking up to.

A few days had passed since that first night where Shouyou appeared in Tobio’s life. It wasn’t like they’d become used to each other, but they had somehow adjusted and formed some sort of routine. Shouyou would rest a lot, he’d go in and out of fever and sleep, while Tobio did a few domestic tasks around the apartment and tended to Shouyou’s care. Somehow, Kageyama didn’t find it strange or uncomfortable to be sharing his space with Shouyou, it didn’t feel like a random stranger was sleeping in his bed, though that was basically the case. He wasn’t sure why he even bothered taking care of Shouyou. It wasn’t like they were family, or even friends, they hardly knew each other. But there was something natural about his presence, and Kageyama felt like there was no way he could turn him away.

Hinata occupied Kageyama’s bed most of the time, only leaving when he had to go to the bathroom or let Kageyama change the sheets. It was day five since the night of the initial encounter, and Shouyou woke up that morning earlier than normal. Kageyama was in the middle of rolling up the futon when he heard a little groan come from the bed to his right, his eyes looking up to watch Shouyou’s face scrunch a little before he blinked a few times, his eyes fixing on Kageyama. Even though he was in pain, he still managed to smile at Kageyama, tired and a little weak. Even though Tobio adored his little smile, it kind of made his stomach ache in a way he couldn't quite explain when he saw how Shouyou masked his pain. But he could certainly tell he was getting a little better.

“Good morning.” Kageyama uttered quietly as he stood, bringing the futon to his closet and tucking it away before walking to the little kitchen area of the apartment. “Morning.” Shouyou responded with a light rasp in his voice, bringing his hands up to rub sleepiness out of his eyes. Kageyama collected the handful of pills Shouyou took in the morning, his prescription pain pill, an antibiotic, and an over-the-counter fever medicine, along with a glass of water, walking over to bring everything to his guest.

“How are you feeling today?” Tobio asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and carefully giving everything to Shouyou, who didn’t reply until after swallowing all of his pills. “Umm, I actully feel kind of okay, I think. My back isn’t killing me.” Shouyou shifted a little, setting his water off to the side to drink later. With a sigh, he stretched his legs, the sound of joints popping making Kageyama cringe. Hinata smiled at Kageyama’s funny-looking expression, then bit at his lip.

“I have to go to the bathroom…” Shouyou mumbled, and Kageyama paused in thought before just giving a simple nod in reply, standing up so he could help the smaller of the two get up. Hinata could walk on his own, but he did get dizzy and pass out the last time he went alone. Shouyou held onto Kageyama’s arm as they carefully made it to the bathroom, walking in a sort of wobbly and loose way. Shouyou sighed once they made it, and waited on Kageyama to leave before taking care of business. Even though it seemed like Shouyou was getting better, it didn’t do much to ease Kageyama’s concern over the whole situation. What were they going to do when Shouyou was better? Where was he supposed to go? Who even was he?

After hearing the flush of a toilet, Kageyama opened the door to the bathroom, watching Shouyou wash his hands in the sink. Tobio took a moment to observe him, noticing the deep purple and blue bruises that had marred his body were starting to fade into yellows and greens. Hinata only wore socks and a pair of Kageyama’s flannel pajama pants, tied tightly around his waist and bunched up near his ankles from the excess length.

“Um, Kageyama?” Shouyou interrupted his observations, shaking the water off of his hands as he looked up at Kageyama, waiting for his response.

“Sorry, yeah?” Tobio finally answered, trying to figure out what Hinata was thinking based off of his facial expression. “I want to take a bath..” Hinata spoke gingerly and quiet, as if he was embarrassed to ask for such a thing. There was a silent understanding that Hinata would need help with it, so it seemed as though Shouyou was asking for permission.

Kageyama gave a nod, “Of course,” he replied, moving to set out a towel for Hinata from the small closet in the bathroom. Shouyou hadn’t felt well enough to bathe yet, and from all the sweating he’d been doing certainly he must feel dirty by now. All Kageyama had been able to do for him up until now was change the sheets. Because of the wounds on Shouyou’s back, he wasn’t able to move his arms too much, or else the wounds would reopen. Kageyama had started the bath and rolled up his sleeves, looking back to see Hinata standing in wait with a small towel around his hips to stay covered. Even though he was battered and bashed, with a weary, tired expression on his face, Kageyama still thought he somehow looked beautiful.

Shouyou sat on the edge of the tub, and Kageyama undid the bandages that were wrapped around his chest to secure the gauze on his back. There was a fetid and metallic smell emerging from Shouyou’s wounds, but Kageyama didn’t react so as to not upset him. He washed Hinata’s hair and the parts of his body he couldn’t reach like his back and legs, allowing Hinata to clean his own chest and stomach. Kageyama was careful, being extra gentle of the areas where there were bruises or healing scrapes.

“Just don’t lay back, sit up.” Kageyama said as he helped Hinata into the water, making sure he didn’t submerge his back, wanting to keep his wounds as dry as possible. Hinata sighed once he was in the water, feeling relieved beyond description. They hadn’t really talked too much other than Hinata making requests like food, water, medicine, bathroom. He was pretty out of it most of the time, but today Hinata seemed almost all there. Kageyama couldn’t get it out of his mind what the doctor had said about the unusual nature of Hinata’s injury, and the question he gave to Hinata. There was so much left unsaid, and it was starting to make Kageyama uneasy.

“What are you thinking about?’ Kageyama’s contemplation was interrupted by the gentle reverberation of Hinata’s words, looking up at the fiery-haired boy before him. “Um,” Kageyama began to say, biting his lip as he tried to collect his words, “well, I was just wondering..” He paused again, averting eyes with Shouyou as he failed to even form a comprehensible sentence. Hinata looked on patiently, though he could very well guess what he was thinking.

“What am I?” Kageyama’s thoughts were interrupted again, looking back at Shouyou as he brought his knees to his chest, resting his chin atop them. “What am I doing here?” Hinata continued, paying close attention to Kageyama’s reaction. He could tell by the hint of shock in Kageyama’s face that he was right on the money with his assumptions. Shouyou smiled, closing his eyes as he spoke. “You knew my name at the hospital. It was a guess, since I only told you my name was Shouyou.” Kageyama’s eyebrows knit in a way that displayed he was focusing intently on Shouyou’s words.

“You recognized me as Hinata Shouyou, the shorty from Yukigaoka Junior High. You beat me on my first and last official match.” Hinata smiled, recalling the memories of his devastation and passion. It was a horrible day for him, yet somehow those memories still made him smile. “I died that very same day. After the match, my family and I were going to have dinner, but there was a pileup. Our car was one of the first ones involved, and I was seated right at the impact.” There was a chilling effect to Hinata’s words. Right away Kageyama remembered that day. It was years ago, but the impact of it still affected him even now.

“I remember..” Tobio spoke up, feeling his heart pound with anxiety at recollection. “Our car too.. I broke my arm.. And my wrist.” He looked down at his hand, twisting to see the small scar where he had to have surgery on his wrist. After that, he was uncoordinated, and couldn’t use his hands as he once could. He never competed in volleyball in high school. Shouyou hummed, his gaze falling back on Kageyama, noticing his expression seemed familiar to the same one he wore when he was shown his memories.

“When I died, it felt just like going to sleep. I opened my eyes, and there was a pale light shining through sheer white curtains… A voice welcomed me, and that day on, I was an angel. My new purpose was to guide the living who live wandering lives to salvation… though, I never really was good at it. I mostly roamed the heavens and tried to make friends.” Kageyama’s eyes wandered to the two gashes on Shouyou’s back, imagining white wings like in the depictions.

“If you're really an angel, then… How did you end up here?” Kageyama watched as Shouyou’s eyes filled with grief, releasing another heavy sigh. He closed his eyes, thinking back to the events that led him to banishment.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one had me gutted after writing it ok-
> 
> also you guys remember that scene in the lion king where Simba is searching for his dad, and then he watched him fall to his death and he's like "NOOOOOOOO-!"  
> ....... well that'll make sense later...

“Maybe I should ask one of the ancients?” Shouyou asked, looking over at Suga as they were flying. Koushi hummed, making a look that pretty clearly stated, ‘no, you probably shouldn’t,’ Hinata rolled his eyes, looking down at the earth below them. “But I’m still feeling troubled. All of the guidance hasn’t gotten me back to it. I still feel like trash.” Suga shook his head, guiding their little flock of two down to a rooftop where they landed.

“Shouyou, I mean this in the nicest way possible, but you’ve really got to get your mind out of the gutters.” Hinata looked away with a sour expression, watching the humans below. “It just isn’t fair.” He whispered bitterly, loud enough for Suga to hear. It had been nearly an entire month now since Hinata’s memories were returned to him, and he was still upset about the whole thing. The leaders decided that even if he was still upset, Hinata needed to return to his duties, and he must be accompanied by another angel until he was deemed suited for regular work again.

“Shouyou, I know it isn’t fair. Life isn’t always fair.” Something about Suga’s words only made Hinata feel angry. He stood and looked down at the cars slowly and carefully making their ways home in the night. Lucky them.

“What’s the point in a god, in angels, if fairness isn’t a given? Why is there pain and suffering? I don’t get it. Why create something just to give it pain. It doesn’t make sense.” The soft and downy feathers near the base of Hinata’s wings ruffled in a way that made it obvious he was bothered, even to the point of a physical reaction, and the sight had Suga feeling uneasy. He sighed, standing up next to his partner.

“Shouyou, why worry about something that’s out of your control? I know it’s not the answer that you want to hear, but.. What else can I say?” Hinata turned his gaze from the cars below up to Suga. Suddenly a stab of guilt made him realize his actions and words affected more than just himself. Hinata bit his lip, noticing the stress in Sugawara’s demeanor. Suga was at a loss, unable to ease Shouyou’s anger for his life being taken away from him. Hinata sighed, his ruffled feathers slowly flattening to his wings once again.

“Sorry, I just… I hate that I couldn’t control it. My future. My whole life I had ahead of me, just gone.” Suga listened to Hinata’s words, the familiar thoughts and pain that accompanied them sending a deep twist of hurt into the depths of both body and mind. It was such an ugly feeling, to be angry at one’s own creator. To question them, jaded by selfish emotions. It was such an ugly feeling, and yet, it was just typical human behavior, wasn’t it?

Why would The Lord create something so ugly in the first place, though?

After their moment of silent contemplation and reflection, Hinata shook his head, taking a deep breath.

“We should get back to the job.” He said in a fairly flat tone, looking up at Suga and doing his best to offer a warm smile. The deep bags under his eyes and the somewhat vacant look made it more of a sad sight than one that brought comfort. Suga returned the smile, however, reaching out and ruffling Hinata’s fluffy mop.

Together, they flew down to where their assignment was. A park. Who would be sitting alone in a park at night, anyways? Why, a lost soul, in need of guidance of course. In cases like Shouyou, where death came suddenly, or like Suga’s, where it was inevitable, there wasn’t much that could be done to save them. But in the case of a death that can be prevented, like a suicide, even a murder, prayers can be heard, and answered.

Like the fallen angel Lucifer disguised himself as a serpent in the garden of Eden, they too wore disguises, and brought comfort to the lonely and lost soul sitting on the park bench.

Sometimes, all it takes is being shown that someone cares to save a life.

After their assignment was complete, Shouyou and Koushi prepared to head back, but of course like the slackers they sometimes tended to be, they dawdled around town a bit to reminisce for just a while.

“I studied at a university near here for a while to get my teaching certification.” Suga said as they slowly walked the streets of the small city, looking in to shop windows and wishing they could buy things like they once did. Not like they needed to eat or drink anyways, though. There was just something about buying snacks from a convenience store at night, though, wasn’t there?

“Eh, really? I never even got the chance to think about which university I wanted to go to. Or if I even wanted to go.” Shouyou pouted, looking around the streets at the small stores and homes. The thing about angels is that they can see souls, how big or small, pretty or ugly, kind or wicked, it was all on display through the aperture of an angel’s eyes. The difference between realms was kind of like an accordion. On earth, being alive, you only see things through the closed instrument. But as an angel, the instrument opens, and the lens is widened. A blessing or a curse? Well, that’s subjective, supposedly. Though, Shouyou had never really decided for himself if he preferred being able to see souls or not. What did his own soul look like? It was kind of strange that angels couldn’t see their own souls.

In the midst of their silent and weary contemplation, a jogger started to run in their direction on the opposite side of the street after just rounding a corner.

“A little dark to be running, huh?” Shouyou mumbled in a voice only Suga would be able to hear, to which the other simply responded with an ‘mhm’. Both Shouyou and Koushi watched as the jogger came near on the parallel side of the street, catching a glimpse of his soul as he passed them.  
“It’s him.” Shouyou murmured, the sight of his deep blue energy and sort of flickering, lost soul ignited a memory.

“Ah, you’re right, that’s Kageyama Tobio.” The jogger, who hadn’t noticed, or at least paid any mind to them, was out of earshot now, so they could speak in a normal tone.

“What was that? It felt like a fire just lit up inside of me.” Though Hinata had been dead much longer than Suga, it still somehow seemed the older of the two was much more knowledgeable in the affairs and skills of angels. Shouyou still had some self-exploration to do, it seemed.

“Like a spark, huh? When you encounter someone you knew when you were alive, seeing their soul sparks memories. He went to my high school, a first year while I was in my third year. He was kinda famous in junior high for his skills as a setter, but from what I heard he was also a control freak. But he was injured and didn’t join our club.” Suga had leaned against the outer wall of the building they were standing nearest to, while Shouyou seemed to have his eyes fixated on the direction of which Kageyama had disappeared into. Suga tilted his head, lifting a brow. “Uh, how did you know him, Shouyou…?”

“I met him,” Hinata started to say, responding without any hesitation, while keeping his eyes locked in the same direction, “the day I died. We played against each other. He beat me.” Hinata’s response was short and to-the-point, and somehow a little unsettling. Suga sensed something bad was about to happen.

“Ah, lets head back, okay Shou?” Sugawara pushed off of the building, and put a hand on the shoulder of his partner, waiting anxiously for some kind of reaction. This doesn’t feel good. Hinata whipped his gaze towards Suga. There was a vacant, intense look in Hinata’s eyes; an expression Suga had never encountered, which caught him off guard. In Addition to the scary look in his eyes, Hinata’s feathers once again ruffled as they did on the rooftop, and immediately Suga sensed what was about to happen.

“Shouyou, don’t-” Before Suga could interfere, Hinata bent his knees, and leapt into the sky, his strong wings propelling him through the air. Suga, in a panic, took to the air, his eyes bolting back and forth for Hinata. Already Shouyou was out of his sight, and he could only think to go back to the celestial city and ask for help in searching for Hinata.

Though he only meant to get help finding Shouyou in heaven, what Suga didn’t realize is that he’d just opened a pandora’s box of adversaries against the misguided Hinata.

Suga was drenched in sweat and dust from the quick winds upon arrival to his wing of the celestial city. He went straight there from where he’d been separated from Hinata instead of spending any time looking for him, reason being that Shouyou was one of the quickest flyers there was. There was absolutely no way he’d manage to find him on his own, curse those cloudy skies.

He was out of breath as he woke other angels from their dwellings, desperately explaining the situation and asking for help to spread word and grant aid in finding Shouyou. Although, it seemed, word of his flee had quickly reached The Ancients, the original angels created by the Lords to be leaders and enforcers. One would expect that they would be there to assist, and send reinforcements in the search for Shoyou, but rather an unexpected deployment was sent out. Creatures similar to hounds meant to fetch evil demons from earth. Though they were creatures of heaven, anyone would agree they appeared as if they too crawled out from the depths of Hell.

Suga, unaware of the unanticipated cavalry, continued on in search of Shouyou, accompanied by nearly two dozen other angels who were close with the two. They spread out in their search, looking along both ground and skies for their dear Shouyou, all the while Suga worried and wondered why Hinata would run away like that. He had never been the flighty type, though granted, he did however have a habit of questioning authority and perhaps not performing his duties to instead take joy rides through the clouds.

It was him. The jogger. Something about their encounter set Hinata off, like flipping a switch that had been balanced in the middle. Kageyama Tobio had tipped the scales, and unleashed Shouyou’s inner selfishness and impulses. They’d spent nearly forty-five minutes in their search by now, each minute bringing Suga’s level of stress up another notch. There wasn’t much to report until he’d finally heard word of Hinata’s whereabouts; they found him, one of the fellow angels said.

Suga smiled, a spike of joy filling his heart at the news that they’d found Hinata. However, the expression on the other angel’s face wasn’t that of relief like Suga. His eyebrows knitted to worry once again, a tightness in his heart.

“Who found him..?” Suga asked in a quiver of a voice, his heart nearly stopping as he watched the words escape out of the lips of his friend. ‘The Hounds.”

Suga’s eyes filled with tears, and they quickly flew in the direction of a commotion nearby, all Koushi could hear was desperate screams of struggle. There was a crowd in the air, everyone’s wings flapping in an impetuous swarm. Shouyou was in the eye of the storm, both hounds and ancient angels struggling to acquire him within the skirmish. He had an intense expression, covered in sweat and his face red from all the blood flowing through his body so quickly. They caught each other’s gaze, and Suga could see Hinata’s heart breaking right in front of him. Hinata’s eyes screamed, ‘please help me,’ they called out.

There was a moment while their gaze was locked when everyone suddenly let out a gasp or some other sound synonymous to the sort, and Koushi hardly even noticed what had happened until he noticed a sort of dullness overtake Shouyou’s gaze. As if he’d just gone blank. Hinata stopped struggling, and started to turn into dead weight, shifting downwards for a moment until he was caught by the very same creatures who had attacked him. Suga finally took his eyes off of Hinata’s face, looking down his body, and taking notice of the deep red stream that flowed to the earth. His breath caught in his throat a moment as he realized what the source of the blood was.

Koushi’s eyes travelled up again, Hinata was released. His form started to fall, retreating to earth. Behind him, in place of where Shouyou had just been before, Suga noticed a pair of white wings, stained an ugly red, in the mouth of one of the hellish creatures. As realization dawned upon him, there was a resounding roar from the flock, but none where as loud or as gut-wrenching as the shriek from Suga, who had just watched someone so dear to him seem to die again.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized the progression might be a little drawn out for certain people's tastes, but I promise next chapter I'll deliver some romantic shit to hold ya'll over until the REAL stuff goes down... xoxoxo Hope u enjoy!

“I’m sorry,” the apology stung like a whip to the soul, “I’m so sorry, that’s..” Tobio’s voice sounded choked, as if he were trying not to cry, “.. that sounds.. horrible.” Kageyama didn’t really know what to say. His heart ached after hearing how Shouyou ended up on earth in such a state, and how they came to be together like this. Hinata gave a weary smile, reaching down and starting to drain the water from the bath. He sighed.

“I’m.. not really sure what’s going to happen to me. I’m already dead, so it’s not like I can die again, but..” He paused in his response, feeling a towel tumble down onto his head, Kageyama’s large hands starting to dry his hair. Shouyou couldn’t contain a smile, genuine this time, taking in a deep breath and sighing it out. It was his first bath in over a week, so he couldn’t help feeling overcome by comfort. “.. Well, I think I’ll be okay for a while.” They smiled at each other for a moment, which didn’t really come naturally to Kageyama usually. However, it seemed so easy around Shouyou.

Kageyama helped Hinata stand, then wrapped him up in a larger towel than the one on his head, allowing him to grasp Kageyama’s arm as he stepped out of the bath, slowly making their way out of the wetroom and into the main room of the bathroom which was just a large sink and mirror. Shouyou caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, smiling at how alien he appeared compared to his normal state. They slowly made their way into the main room of the apartment, and Shouyou sat on the edge of the bed, watching Kageyama as he waited patiently for what was to happen next.

Kageyama went over to the cabinets on the wall opposite to the couch and bed where the small kitchen was, taking out a small plastic bin and fetching bandages and medical tape. Once a day, he changed Hinata’s bandages after cleaning his wounds, and since he’d just bathed, now was the perfect time to take care of it. He pressed a peroxide pad to Hinata’s back, watching his face cringe from the sting, then applied an ointment. Hinata bit his lip as the other pressed gauze pads to the wounds, then started to neatly wrap the bandages around his chest and back.

The first time Kageyama dressed the wounds, it was just as sloppy as you would expect. But after much practice, he was practically a pro now, and Hinata smiled as he ran his fingers along the neat bandages.

“You’ve gotten good at this.” 

“Out of necessity, it’s not like you can do it on your own.”

“Maybe, even if I could, I’d still ask you to do it.”

“Shut up, get dressed..”

Hinata stuck his tongue out at Kageyama as the other set a neatly folded stack of clothes on the bed, walking back over to the kitchen area to put everything away that he’d taken out. Hinata had been wearing Kageyama’s clothes ever since he’d come home from the hospital. Of course, he didn’t mind it, it’s not like he needed to go anywhere looking presentable anyways. Carefully, he slipped into boxers, shorts and a tshirt. Everything was much too big, and of course, comically too long. The shorts were knee length instead of mid-thigh, and the shirt came down past his bottom rather than stopping at the hips. He’d long gotten over how frustratingly small he was, but somehow, being small didn’t urk him one bit in this situation.

Hinata had just reached for the tv remote when there was a knock at the door. For a moment, the two looked at each other, as if asking ‘who could that be?’. Kageyama put the first aid box back into the cabinet before going to answer the door, taking a step back at the loud ‘Hey Hey!’ he was greeted with.

Ah, it was those two. Akaashi and… Bokuto. Hinata wasn’t very awake the last time they came to visit and check on himself and Kageyama, but he could recall their… inverse personalities. Akaashi was calm, Bokuto was not. They were together, maybe? Their relationship certainly wasn’t ‘just friends’.

“Ah, what brings you two here?” Kageyama asked, and though Shouyou couldn’t see around the bend to the hallway where the foyer was, he could sort of imagine their expressions.

“Well, it’s been a few days since we saw you guys, we wanted to check on you again.” That voice was Akaashi’s, low and cool. 

“And it’s really cold, we thought it would be fun to sit at a kotatsu!” That voice was Bokuto’s, deep and zealous.

“Bokuto-san, Hinata could be sleeping.” Hinata could hear the most excitable of the three come to a realization and audibly settle down. How considerate.

“Oh, he’s awake, please come in. It might smell a little strange in here since we just put on some medicine.” Hinata smiled when he heard Kageyama invite them in, listening to the older two thank him and take off their shoes. When they rounded the corner, Hinata smiled, his eyes locking on Bokuto in particular.

“Bokuto-san! I watched you play yesterday! Your spikes were amazing!” Hinata, when he was awake, typically spent his time watching whatever matches he could on tv. The other day, Kageyama told him that his neighbor Bokuto was actually in a pro league, since then Hinata had become quite the fan.

Bokuto, being as big-headed and boisterous as he is, grinned and reached down to ruffle the younger’s hair.

“You hear that, ‘Kaashi? He’s a fan!” There was a crowd of laughter among the four of them, and Akaashi moved to set up the kotatsu, a low wooden table with a heater underneath and a blanket to keep all the warmth in. Kageyama moved to start some tea, and Bokuto got a bowl to put some mandarins they’d picked up at the store. Hinata slid down from the bed and made his way over to the kotatsu, being the first to slide his legs under the cover with a sigh. The others couldn’t help but laugh once more.

Once they were all settled in, Kageyama started to serve the tea, while Hinata was much more focused on peeling one of the little oranges.

“So, you two have gotten used to each other by now, it seems?” Akaashi started off the conversation, bringing the cup of tea to his lips and giving a blow to cool it down.

“Ah, Hinata told me we actually knew each other in middle school. I’d forgotten, but I remember him now.” Nobody but Kageyama knew the truth about Hinata being an angel, so he’d have to think of some sensible excuse as to why they were still together. Akaashi, especially, knew Tobio wasn’t just the type of person to house a stranger, certainly he’d figure out soon that something wasn’t right.

Akaashi nodded, looking over at Bokuto who seemed to be struggling to peel a mandarin, then to Hinata who was stuffing one after another into his mouth. The two had some similarities in the sense of personality. Akaashi had always considered himself to be a pretty good judge of character, and he could tell Hinata was a good kid.

“So, how old are you, Hinata?” Keiji asked in that ever-so-cool tone of voice, reaching over to help Bokuto peel his orange.

“I’m twenty- two, same as Kageyama.” Or so he would be.

“Waaah! I expected you to be much younger!” Bokuto responded, taking the mandarin pieces Akaashi dutifully sent his way.

“I said we knew each other from junior high, were you listening?” Kageyama responded with a bit of a laugh, making Hinata smile.

“He is a bit of an airhead, you’ll have to forgive him, Tobio.” Akaashi said with a smile, to which Bokuto responded with an offended shriek of Akaashi’s name. The four of them laughed.

They laughed. And they ate. And they spoke. And they ate.

Shortly later, the sweet aroma of mandarins, the gentle heat from under the table, and the side effects causing drowsiness from Shouyou’s medicine cocktail had him nodding off. The other three, of course, noticed Hinata’s eyes struggling to stay open, and that he’d seemed to have forgotten about their conversation, and silently understood the next move. Shouyou’s head slowly slipped down from his hand he’d been holding it up with, and he rested his chin against his arm on the table. Bokuto, Akaashi and Kageyama continued to speak to each other quietly, knowing a sudden silence would probably wake Hinata up, and began to stand from the kotatsu.

Kageyama thanked them for coming by, allowing them to wash their hands before leaving, giving a respectful bow and closing the door behind them. With a small sigh, he turned and went back to Hinata, walking in on quite the scene. Shouyou’s head lay to the side against the wooden table, his cheek plush as it pressed against the wood, a small puddle of drool starting at the corner of his lips and pooling on the table. Kageyama almost wanted to take a picture.

He bent down on his knees beside Hinata, deciding he should probably stretch more after hearing the pop of his joints, and carefully pat his shoulder.

“Hinata.. Do you want to get into the bed?” kageyama asked quietly, in nearly a whisper, listening as Hinata took in a deep breath and his eyes fluttered open. It was clear just by his face that Hinata was still barely awake, blinking a few times as his brain tried to catch up.

“Hmm?” He hummed with a slight rasp, lifting his head and wiping drool from his face.

“Do you want to get into the bed?” Kageyama repeated, reaching under the blanket of the kotatsu to turn off the heater. Shouyou pouted.

“I guess so.” He responded finally, sliding his legs out from underneath the table and slowly getting to his feet, holding onto Kageyama’s shoulder for a moment as the blood rush to his head settled, then after a short walk he was at the bed.

“Are you going to sleep, or do you want lunch?” Kageyama asked as he started to put everything away, watching Hinata get settled under the covers.

“Hmm.. can I borrow your computer, Kageyama?” Hinata asked, and Kageyama couldn't help but look up at the question. Why would Hinata need that?

“I guess, yeah. Give me a minute.” after the table was put away, Kageyama walked over to his desk area where he kept all of his books and other materials for school, picking up the old laptop that his sister gave him as a graduation gift. It used to be hers, too, so it was practically a relic.

He brought it over to Hinata and put in the password, handing it off and peering over to the screen.

“Are you going to search something?” He asked, sitting on the edge of the bed, curiously.

“Yeah, I wanna look up stuff about me. I’ve always been curious.” It seemed Shouyou was back to being awake now, typing in something quickly.

“Obituary..?” Kageyama read the words Hinata typed into the search bar, watching as he clicked on a link and a notice of death came on screen. The words read, Hinata Shouyou, age 14. There was a picture that looked like it was taken not long before he died. If there was any doubt in Kageyama’s mind that Hinata really was an angel, it was gone now. Shouyou really had died on that day.

“Hey, Hinata..” Kageyama started to say, his curiosity getting the better of him. “.. If you died, and you were buried, then how come you eat, sleep, and bleed? I don’t understand it..” He hoped that the question wasn’t too invasive or upsetting for Hinata to answer, but it really just made no sense to him. Shouyou hummed.

“I don’t really know the whole story myself, but.. I’ve always thought of it like a seed. Our bodies are a flower, and our souls are the seeds.” Shouyou closed the laptop, leaning back into the pillows. “The flower might die, but there’s still the seed. The seed will grow into a new flower eventually.” Hinata closed his eyes, sighing. “With angels.. I don’t really know much about all of that.. It’s confusing. Our original bodies are dead, and our souls have moved on to this new form, but we’re not quite human. There are some divine powers, like we can see souls and disguise ourselves, like changing our form and stuff.. And we help humans. But somehow, I still feel very much human myself.” There was a pause, and Kageyama took a moment to think. That did all sound very confusing.

“If you’re technically dead, then how come you still do things like breathe and sleep and stuff?” Kageyama asked, bringing his legs onto the bed and filling the unoccupied space.

“Um.. well, our human bodies are dead. Our soul inhabits a new form still, though. In heaven, there’s no hunger, thirst, lust.. The only desires we have there are emotional ones I guess. I don’t really understand it, but.. Ever since I started to spend so much time on earth I’ve had those desires. Food, drink, and..” Hinata stopped, biting his lip for just a moment. “Well, I don’t really know. It doesn’t make sense to me either. Maybe it has something to do with the realm itself and not angels. Like maybe in heaven I don’t feel those desires but on earth I do, something like that? I dunno.” Shouyou shrugged, tilting his gaze to look over at Kageyama.

“Angels are supposed to reincarnate after some time. Just like everyone else. I never understood why I have to wait.” Kageyama could see the sleepiness return to Shouyou’s gaze, and decided to stop asking questions for now. Hinata needed to rest. “But I don’t know if I’ll get to now. I don’t know what’ll happen..”

Kageyama bit his lip for a moment, watching Hinata pull the covers up closer and roll onto his side. Standing, Kageyama grabbed the tv remote and turned on a channel playing a disney movie just for the purpose of background noise. He started to cook himself a lunch, occasionally glancing back at Hinata, worry filling him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey y'all...... uh so I didn't die heheheheheheh xoxo. I may post more chapters from now on ;]  
> this chapter is a quick break from the main plot, so pls enjoy!

“Don’t you think it’s a little strange?” Akaashi asked, twisting the key through the knob and unlocking the door to their apartment. Bokuto, with one arm hooked into Akaashi’s, gave a hum with a bit of a questioning tone, as if he needed more context with the question. “You know, Hinata and Kageyama. He showed up practically naked and bleeding out, and Kageyama seems to think there’s no problem letting him stay with him.”

“Is there a problem with it?” Bokuto asked as they entered their home, taking off their shoes. Akaashi gave a hum in thought, removing his jacket and hanging it up on the hooks above the foyer.

“No, not exactly, but it just seems a bit strange to me. Tobio doesn’t seem like the type of person to be so devoted to someone he doesn’t know very well.” He sighed, stepping into the main room, which was an open kitchen, living room and dining room. Unlike Kageyama’s apartment, which was just one room and the bathroom, their apartment had a large main room and two bedrooms. Because it was just the two of them, and they were, ahem, dating, they shared a bedroom. The other bedroom was used as an office space for akaashi, and a little gym area for them to share, although Bokuto was the one who used it the most.

“Maybe Tobio has a crush?” Bokuto said with a big grin, walking with Akaashi to the kitchen and sitting at the bar island counter, watching the other get food from the fridge for the two of them. Akaashi gave himself a spinach salad and an onigiri, then heated up some leftover meat and rice for Bokuto. Even though the two had just snacked on mandarins, they collectively seemed to have the appetite of four people combined.

“That’s certainly a possibility. Though..” Akaashi responded, getting dishes from the cabinet. “I didn’t suspect Kageyama to swing that way..”

“Well, we don’t know for sure if he really likes Shouyou that way. He sure is cute, though!”

Akaashi smiled at Bokuto’s response, bringing the food into bowls and bringing it to the counter for them to eat together.

“Yes, he certainly is very cute. He reminds me of someone I know, too..” Keiji smiled fondly at his lover, who didn’t waste time picking up his chopsticks and thanking Akaashi for the meal. Bokuto started on his food, and then so did Akaashi, quiet sounds of munching bouncing around in the apartment. Eating together, and preparing meals together, had become sort of a bonding behavior for the two. Even after the both of them may have had long and tiring days, they still made time to have a meal together at least once a day, if possible.

They chatted and as they ate, then did the dishes together, and finally went off to bathe and call it for the night. Bokuto had been gone all of the day before and that morning doing training for the upcoming tournaments, so they hadn’t been able to spend much time together in a while, at least by their standards.

They washed each other’s hair and made sure their bodies were clean before slipping into the bath, smiling, laughing, and chatting about nothing too particularly important. Akaashi was almost surprised that their relationship had come this far. He used to suspect that Bokuto would move on to someone else after all this time, but he still had the same hold on him since high school.

After finishing their bath, it was afternoon now, and Bokuto fallen asleep with his head laid against Akaashi’s chest for a nap, while Akaashi sketched drafts for an upcoming manga chapter on his ipad. While the background ambiance of the tv and Bokuto’s snores were enough to keep his ears occupied, Akaashi’s mind still wandered to little Shouyou, who dive-bombed into Kageyama’s life out of nowhere. It really didn’t make that much sense, but he reminded himself that it really didn’t matter that much. Kageyama seemed happier than they’d ever seen him, so there’s no harm in it, really? He sighed, turning off the ipad to let his hands rest for a moment, then looked down at Bokuto.

A smile pulled at the corners of his lips, and Akaashi closed his eyes to lean in and place a gentle kiss to Bokuto’s forehead. Bokuto, who supposedly hadn’t been sleeping as deeply as Akaashi had thought, gave a small smile as his eyes barely opened. They looked at each other in silence for a moment before anyone spoke up.

“What?” Akaashi asked quietly, a hint of a laugh in his voice.

“Whaddya mean, ‘what?’, can’t I just look at my pretty boyfriend?” Bokuto leaned in, going for a kiss on the lips just before Akaashi turned his face to dodge it. They laughed, and Bokuto placed his kisses to Akaashi’s neck instead, bringing one hand up to rest on his boyfriend’s belly.

“Stop, you know I’m ticklish there,” The former setter said, to which Bokuto only responded with continued kisses and running his hand along his boyfriend's sides and stomach, even going beneath his shirt. Akaashi started to laugh more, retreating from Bokuto’s touch and taking a few deep breaths. He guarded his belly using his arms to cover whatever he could, a coy grin on his face as he looked up at Bokuto.

“What?” Bokuto asked, propping his head up on his hand and waiting for Akaashi to break the silly silence.

“Oh, what do you mean, ‘what?’, can’t I just look at my pretty boyfriend?” Keiji mirrored his boyfriend’s words from just before, listening as he laughed and joining in. Bokuto held his arms out, and Akaashi scooted in, trusting that he wouldn’t be tickled again. “Have I bested you again, Koutarou?” He spoke in a softer voice, the two bringing their arms around each other and looking deeply into each other’s eyes.

“Akaashi,” the other began to say, leaning in to press a kiss to his boyfriend’s forehead, “you’re the one person I don’t mind losing to.” He ended with, continuing to place affectionate pecks to whatever part of Akaashi’s face was open. Akaashi, in turn, closed his eyes with a hint of a smile still ghosting his lips, taking in the moment. 

Often Akaashi would reflect on his life, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths, thinking deeply and appreciatively, focusing on whatever it was he was feeling. Taking a moment to stop and process emotions, and to practice gratitude, was something that had helped him let go of stress and anything else that may be in the way of his satisfaction. After all, doesn’t everyone want to live a satisfying life?

He always used to be worried that he wasn’t enough for Bokuto. His character and personality wasn’t extraordinary, thrilling or exciting. At least by his own determination, he wasn’t. He used to worry Bokuto would throw him away, yet somehow after all these years they were still by each other’s side. If Bokuto was going to get tired of him, he would have done it by now, so Akaashi didn’t worry about it so much.

He’d never say it, but Bokuto could usually tell what his boyfriend was thinking in moments like these. To most, Akaashi might seem hard to read, but to Bokuto, all it takes is a little observation. Right then, he could tell Akaashi was thinking about his appreciation for their relationship, which was always sort of thrilling to watch. To know he could make someone so happy was absolutely exhilarating.

Akaashi opened his eyes again, and Bokuto pulled away from the trail of kisses he’d been leaving along Keiji’s cheek and jaw, and they just stared at each other for a moment. Eyes are the windows to the soul, is what they say, don’t they? Akaashi sighed, reaching up to stroke his hand along Bokuto’s head, petting him almost like a cat. Simultaneously they leaned in and began to kiss each other on the lips, their mouths meshing together so naturally and with a sweet gentleness. Their hands found careful placement on each other’s bodies, Bokuto’s moving to hold Akaashi’s hips as he moved, shifting to straddle Bokuto’s waist, deepening their kiss.

This went on for a few moments, and their actions to follow were certainly passionate, an actualization of their love. They embraced fervently, also making up for lost time, despite only being apart for two days. No love is perfect, by any means, but to the two of them, it certainly felt that way. They were just perfect to each other.


End file.
